luxken27fics | Inuyasha | Allegiance [11]: Embrace

MASTER SERIES INDEX IS HERE.
Title: Allegiance
Author: LuxKen27
Fandom: Inuyasha
Universe: Canon (Post-manga)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Romance
Rating: M
Warning(s): Character death, violence
Summary: Strictly-come-canon, post-manga. Kagome is forced to seek out Sesshoumaru's protection in the wake of unexpected tragedy. As she insinuates herself into his life, Sesshoumaru comes to realize her second chance is also his, as her presence drives him to confront mistakes from his own past.

~*~
“I apologize,” she announced, dry-eyed.

Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder, quirking a brow. For what? he mused silently, his eyes sweeping over her form as she sat, unmoving, huddled close to the fire pit. For keeping the truth of Inuyasha’s demise from me? For breaking down so uncontrollably in front of my guard?

For coming here in the first place?

Her eyes met his. “For everything,” she clarified softly.

He faced forward again, pushing mokomoko from his shoulder as he continued his evening preparations before bed. She’d escaped into their room shortly after that horrible scene earlier in the day, when she had collapsed in his arms after being confronted with the means of her beloved Inuyasha’s death. Then – as now – he’d shrugged off her actions, content in the knowledge that she would not flee as threatened. He was grateful as well that she’d separated herself from him, sparing him the greater portion of her renewed grief.

He could feel her eyes boring into his back as he slipped into a light sleeping yukata, and briefly he wondered if she would spend this night as she had all the rest in their short time together as “mates”: awake…miserable…wallowing in her sorrow...

He frowned.

A small sighed escaped from her at that moment, breaking into his thoughts. “It’s funny,” she murmured, a tinge of bitter irony in the edge of her voice. “Every time I close my eyes – every time I’m alone – all I see is that scene. All I see is death, and blood, and destruction, and all I want to do is run.” She exhaled sharply. “How terrible is that? For ten years I was the healer of that village. Those people took me in, and accepted me as part of their life, alongside Inuyasha…and when they were at their lowest point, in need of me the most, my gut response was to flee.”

Sesshoumaru lowered himself to sit on the mattress, his attention focused on spreading mokomoko across the sheets. There was something innately comforting about curling into its softness in those first vulnerable moments of sleep, and suddenly he felt very tired, as if the weight of the world was weighing upon his shoulders.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard her stand and move across the room on quiet feet, drawing closer to him. Some feeling he couldn’t describe tugged at his core, nudging the leash he held firm over his youki. His ministrations ceased as she sat beside him on the bed, holding herself very still.

“Have you ever wanted to run away from a situation because you couldn’t control it?” she whispered. “Do you know what that’s like?”

If he didn’t before, he did now – pangs of helpless fear stabbed at his gut, panic curling at the base of his spine as a wave of irrational fear rolled over him, turning his blood to ice in his veins. He clenched his fists, releasing his youki to fend off the effects of her blood, his innate calm restoring itself within moments.

A patch of silence stretched out between them, long enough to eventually command his attention. He turned, allowing his eyes to fall on her face. She sat in profile beside him, gazing off in contemplation, no hint of fear or tears in her aura. After a moment, she spoke.

“Sometimes I think if I keep running, I’ll never have to see that scene again.”

He reached for her hand, pulling it from her lap, lacing his fingers through hers. In that moment –

– in that lingering, regretful stare –

– with those words –

– she reminded him of himself.

Memories stirred at the back of his mind.

“I know,” he murmured with a slight sigh.

His eyes closed then as she leaned into him, a strange, welcoming weight warm against his side. She twined her arms around his neck and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. He returned the embrace, tightening the circle of his arms as he pulled her closer…until he was left wondering just who was clinging to who.

“I know.”

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