painting your soul with the colors of my words (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
luxken27fics) wrote2012-05-15 09:26 pm
luxken27fics) wrote2012-05-15 09:26 pm
Kids Inc | Oneshot: Secrets [Bonus Scene #2]
Title: Secrets Bonus Scene #2 - Fallout
Author:luxken27
Fandom: Kids Incorporated
Universe: Canon divergence (Season 5)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: T
Warning: Language, innuendo
Word Count: 3,763
Summary: A deleted scene from Secrets. Renee deals with the immediate aftermath of Ryan and Stacy’s argument.
Author’s Note: For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
keb_01, on the occasion of your birthday – your Secrets universe has finally come full circle! =)
DISCLAIMER: The Kids Incorporated concept, storyline, and characters are © 1984 – 1993 Thomas Lynch/Gary Biller/MGM Television/20th Century Fox Home Entertainment/Disney Channel. Any resemblance to any person currently living or deceased is unintended (aka, I am writing about the characters, not the actors who portray them). No money is being made from the creation of this material. No copyright infringement is intended.
~*~
Renee sighed, shifting position in her chair as she gazed down at her story. She’d been working on it for the last few hours, but had barely put down three sentences that she deemed worthy of keeping. It was late; she’d long since changed into her pajamas and made herself a cup of hot tea, but her mind wasn’t foggy with exhaustion. No, her attention wandered off with every quick glance at the clock, prickles of trepidation scoring her spine as she thought about her sister.
She sighed again, pulling her glasses off and rubbing her hands over her face. I wonder what she’s doing right now, she mused silently, before stifling a cynical snort. Oh, who am I kidding? I wonder if she’s doing it right now.
It was hard not to worry, even just a little bit. Stacy was impetuous, to say the least – headstrong and stubborn; dreamy, yet reckless. She leapt from one impulsive decision to the next, whether it was what she was going to wear, how she was going to spend her money…or when she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend.
Renee sat back in her desk chair, picking up her tea and curling her fingers around the still-warm cup. She bit back a smile as she gazed around her room, taking in the damage wrought in the wake of Hurricane Stacy. She’d started to clean up the mess shortly after her sister’s departure, but gave up after an hour and barely making a dent. Stacy didn’t bring many things with her when she came to stay, but somehow, she’d managed to accumulate an entire wardrobe of clothes, which she’d torn through in a rampage that afternoon in her quest for the perfect outfit.
It was hard to ignore Stacy’s countenance as she sailed out of the room earlier that evening. She had an inner glow about her, full of confidence and excitement and anticipation. It was an expression that had become very familiar over the last few months, much to Renee’s displeasure. When Stacy had first begged to be allowed to visit her on campus, Renee had been naïve enough to believe it was because she wanted to strengthen their sisterly bond. They had been close as kids, but differing interests had drawn them apart as they grew older. Renee adored school; Stacy tolerated it, at best. Stacy could sit for hours, paging through 600-page fashion tomes; Renee had little use for trends or fads of any variety – she still quite happily wore cardigan sweaters and A-line skirts.
Renee hated seeing her sister drift away, and had jumped at the chance to find common ground again. It quickly became obvious, however, that it was an entirely different relationship Stacy truly wished to pursue.
Oh, she wasn’t vindictive or insulting about it – that wasn’t really in Stacy’s nature. She always showed up at Renee’s door with the best of intentions – to hang out, to gossip, to accompany Renee to the museums and the parks and the theaters in exchange for her sister’s company while she shopped – but somehow, she always managed to be swept away by her boyfriend. He was increasingly monopolizing what little time she had during her visits, which Renee didn’t appreciate one bit.
She also didn’t appreciate finding out that the only reason Stacy was even allowed to date Ryan in the first place was because of her presence on campus, as if she could keep an eye on them at all times. It was bad enough, feeling like she was losing her sister – no way was she going to be the third wheel on their lovey-dovey dates.
She sighed, taking a long sip of her tea as she turned back to her desk. Her eyes involuntarily flicked over to the clock, and her heart skipped a painful beat. It felt so strange, sitting there, as if their roles had been reversed: like she was the younger sister, waiting and wondering and dying to know the details – what it felt like to be in love, in lust, to want sex and its accompanying emotional bonds.
Renee had had her share of dates over the years, but the only steady relationship she’d ever been in was in junior high school, back when kissing seemed scandalous. She remembered that feeling well – of falling head over heels, of being off on another planet, of that person becoming the center of the universe, around which everything else revolved. Even at thirteen, it was heady and intense and romantic; she could only imagine what it felt like with a couple of years of hormones thrown into the mix. She also remembered what it felt like to have her heart broken, shattered into a million pieces by a boy who’d lost interest but couldn’t find a dignified way to tell her. Ever since that day, Renee had gone to great lengths to shield her heart from another bout of such sorrow; she’d made her peace with the fact that she didn’t have much of a love life.
Or so she thought.
Watching her sister fall in love had unsettled some of Renee’s notions about being single and happy. She’d noticed the way Ryan and Stacy looked at each other when they thought no one else was watching. She’d noticed the way they were always touching, the way it had started (with covertly holding hands when they thought no one was paying attention) and progressed (to her sitting on his lap whenever they were out with friends). She’d even caught them kissing once – not the shy, sweet kisses reminiscent of her own experience, but deeper, more intimate, and crackling with sexual tension.
It hadn’t been that long since she’d inadvertently witnessed said scene, and Renee had been dreading this day ever since. Stacy was exploring uncharted territory now, moving out of Renee’s realm of experience; there was no way to protect her feelings, or shield her from heartache, or give her advice about what would happen next. And Renee couldn’t help but feel a little jealous: that her baby sister had put herself out there, found a guy to love (and love her back), someone whose intentions she trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt, someone she felt comfortable sharing every part of herself with.
It didn’t feel fair – in fact, it made Renee feel like a failure of an older sister, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Somehow, she’d have to learn to live with the fact that the tables were turned, that her sister would gain such valuable knowledge and experience first, potentially with a multiyear head-start.
She tried to put her morose thoughts out of her mind, to turn back to the story she’d been struggling with for the last two weeks, but she couldn’t concentrate – not when the clock was ticking so loudly, marking each second that passed, making her fret and worry and wonder. How long would it take? When was Stacy planning to come back? How in the world was she going to be able to sleep without knowing if her sister was safe?
A sharp rap on the door startled Renee from her thoughts, jostling the cup she still held, causing her tea to splash onto her notebook. She stifled a yelp when she heard the second, more insistent knock, shooting up out of her seat and crossing the room quickly. As she drew closer to the door, the knocking turned into anxious pounding, accompanied by muffled sobs.
“Please, Renee,” came the pleading voice, “let me in!”
Renee’s heart dropped to the lower reaches of her stomach as she wrenched the door open, only to have her sister fall into her arms, crying so hard she could barely breathe.
“Stacy!” she exclaimed, unable to hide her surprise and concern. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
Her sister only sobbed harder, burying her face in Renee’s shoulder and circling her arms around her waist.
Renee turned slightly, managing to close the door, before hugging her sister close. She held her for a long moment, until it seemed the worst of Stacy’s tears had passed, before gently pulling away. She took her sister’s hands, guiding her over to her bed, and quickly handed her a box of tissues as they sank down side-by-side.
“C’mon, sis,” she cajoled softly, brushing Stacy’s hair from her shoulder as her sister wiped her nose. “Tell me what happened.”
Stacy’s face, already splotchy from crying, flushed again; she buried her head in her hands and drew her knees to her chest, looking every inch like an upset little girl.
It was all Renee could do to contain her own rising tide of anxiety. She’d seen Stacy upset before, but never anything like this. Sobs racked her body, sounding deep and painful and world-ending. Whatever had happened, it was major – and, Renee surmised grimly, probably had something to do with Ryan.
She draped her arm across Stacy’s shoulders, pulling the tissue box into her own lap, and slowly began to sway from side to side in a soothing rhythm. “Does this have something to do with your bastard of a boyfriend?” she mused aloud, trying to make her tone sound teasing and light. Normally, Stacy was very sensitive to the barbs Renee lobbed in Ryan’s direction, never one to take any guff about their relationship.
This time, however, she merely nodded, the movement of her head almost imperceptible.
Renee’s expression twisted into a scowl. “Insensitive jackass,” she muttered, not bothering to hide her vindictiveness this time. “What did he say?” she pressed, after a moment. “What did he do? Where do I need to punch him to make sure he’s hurting as much as you are?”
A tiny smile pulled at Stacy’s mouth. She sat up, taking another tissue and wiping her eyes.
“Do you think I’m kidding?” Renee asked incredulously, feeling uncertain herself of the seriousness of her threat. Nobody could hurt her baby sister this much and escape punishment, by her measure.
Stacy simply looked at her, giving a silent assessment of Renee’s offer. Her breathing began to calm; the redness receded from her face, even as tears continued to trickle from the corners of her eyes.
“Okay,” Renee relented, “I’m kidding! But please, Stace, tell me what’s going on. I hate to see you so upset.”
“I feel like such a fool,” her sister muttered. “How could I have been so stupid?!”
“I’m sure whatever happened wasn’t your fault, Stace,” Renee replied sharply, giving her sister’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Stacy simply shook her head. “So we went out, right?” she began. “And we were having a good time – until this girl shows up, and just – drapes herself all over him.” She exhaled sharply. “And the way she looked at him – the things she said to him – I just – ”
Renee laid her hand on her sister’s back as Stacy tried to compose herself.
“I just knew – that they’d had sex,” she finally choked out, stumbling over the words as if they were painful to pronounce. “So I asked him – I demanded to know – ” She sniffled, holding a shaking hand to her mouth as if she was going to be sick.
“Oh, Renee,” she burbled, “he’s had sex – with all these other girls – and I didn’t know.”
Renee felt her blood run cold. “You mean, since you two have been together?” she inquired archly, her protective instincts kicking into overdrive.
Stacy shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “Before.”
Renee slowly released her breath, feeling the impulse towards violence recede, and tried to grapple with the information Stacy had shared with her. She furrowed her brow. “I don’t understand,” she admitted. “Did he just tell you this? Out of the blue?”
Stacy shook her head again. “No,” she murmured in response. “I practically had to drag it out of him. But why did he hide it from me in the first place?” she wailed.
“I was ready, Renee,” she continued. “I was ready to share all of myself with him – only to realize that maybe I don’t really know him at all.”
It was hard for Renee to counter the surge of sympathy she felt when Stacy finally met her gaze, but something niggled at her. “You mean – you two didn’t discuss this at all before tonight?” she asked carefully. “You had no idea of his history?”
Stacy shook her head, looking downcast. “I just never – even imagined…”
Renee pursed her lips as she regarded her sister. He’s nineteen years old, she thought to herself. How could she even think –
And then it hit her, like a sack of bricks. She’d made it to nineteen with her virginity intact.
Suddenly, Renee felt incredibly guilty.
“I hate the thought of him – being with other girls,” Stacy ground out, oblivious to her sister’s sudden silence. “I hate the thought of him touching anybody else the way he’s touched me.” She sniffled, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks. “I hate the idea of him having all of this experience – and having so many others to compare me to.”
“Oh, Stacy,” Renee sighed, hugging her sister close. “I hate that this has hurt you so much.” She pulled away, brushing her sister’s hair from her brow and tucking it behind her ear. She contemplated how to phrase her next thought, her heart thudding heavily in her chest.
“You know I’m not Ryan’s biggest fan,” she started tentatively, “and as much as I hate to admit it, he was right about one thing.”
Stacy glanced at her, her eyes filmy with tears and full of questions.
“There’s no way he could’ve answered your questions to your satisfaction,” Renee explained gently. “Would you have preferred that he lie to you instead? I think he’s a jerk, yes, but the real jerk move here would’ve been telling you what you wanted to hear, just so that you’d have sex with him.”
Stacy pulled out of her sister’s grasp. “Who’s side are you on, Renee?” she asked caustically, slumping into the armchair next to the bed. “I thought you said it wasn’t my fault.”
“And it isn’t,” Renee insisted. “You deserved to know about his past, and he should’ve told you about it, before tonight.” She paused. “But you said it yourself – you had to ‘drag’ the information out of him. Would you rather have him lie to you, tell you that you were his first, too, only to find out the truth after you’d slept with him?”
Stacy looked away swiftly. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she proclaimed, balling the tissue she held into her fist.
“Okay,” Renee acquiesced, her tone neutral as she stood up. “It’s been a long night, and I think that we can agree that you’ve been through hell. Listen, why don’t you take the bed and get a good night’s sleep? I think everything will seem a little more manageable in the morning.”
“Forget it,” Stacy mumbled, standing up and shedding her carefully pieced-together outfit with listless indifference. “I’ll sleep on the floor like I always do.” Her face clouded up as she dug around for her pajamas, but after a few moments, her expression cleared without tears.
Renee watched in silence as Stacy changed and dragged out her sleeping bag, spreading it on the floor between her desk and the bed. She settled in without another word, promptly closing her eyes and turning away from her sister’s scrutiny. Renee studied her for a long moment before quietly stepping over her, retrieving her teacup from where she’d abandoned it on her desk. The tea that had splashed onto her notebook was dry now, along with the ink that had puddled at the bottom of the page, wiping away all of her hard work for the evening.
She turned with a sigh, quietly tiptoeing out of her room and down the hall to clean up. She’d made little headway with her story, but even less, it seemed, with her sister.
~*~
Renee awoke with a start, bolting upright when she realized that someone was knocking incessantly at her door. She forced her eyes open – and then immediately closed them against the piercing rays of the early morning sunshine.
“Ugh,” she creaked, rubbing her face. When the insistent knocking didn’t abate, she cast a sidelong glance at her alarm clock. “Who the hell is voluntarily up at this hour?” she mused aloud, stumbling out of bed and yawning as she moved towards the door.
When she opened it and realized who was standing on the other side, her mood instantly worsened. “What do you want?” she barked by way of greeting, finding absolutely no need for pleasantries.
Wry amusement washed over Ryan’s expression. “Well, good morning to you, too, Mary Sunshine!” he replied with a sarcastic smile, before sobering. “Is Stacy here?”
Renee narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on the doorknob. “Why do you want to know?”
Ryan arched a brow. “Because I want to talk to her,” he responded, a hint of defensiveness in his tone.
Renee shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she replied, taking a step back into the room and making a move to close the door.
“Well, I do,” Ryan returned, putting out one hand to prevent her from shutting it in his face. “That’s how adults settle their disputes, and this isn’t your problem, okay? You can’t keep me from seeing her.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, tension thick in the air.
Finally, Ryan looked away, pushing into the room and directing his attention beyond its gatekeeper. “Stace?” he called out. “Are you here?”
There was no response.
His eyes quickly swept over the room as he turned to face Renee once more. “Where did she go?” he inquired, sounding genuinely confused.
Renee huffed an irritated sigh. “Are you blind or something?” she muttered as she stalked over to her sister’s sleeping bag – only to lift it up and realize it was empty, save for Stacy’s pillows. Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe she just went to the bathroom? she thought to herself. She turned to her closet, where her sister always stowed her purse and overnight bag. If they were missing…
“Oh, no,” she murmured under her breath, her eyes pinned to the empty space just inside the closet door. “She didn’t…!”
“What?” Ryan asked, sharply reminding Renee of his presence in her room. “Where did she go?”
Her irritation flared. “She went home, you jackass!” she responded caustically. “She left without even telling me.” Without even waking me up, she amended silently, feeling her heart wrench in her chest. It was bad enough that Stacy had gone to bed angry – but now, apparently, she’d gone all the way back to Brooklyn, still nursing her upset.
Renee slowly eased the closet door back into its frame and turned to face her sister’s boyfriend. Suddenly, she felt nothing but righteous anger towards him, and it was all she could do to keep herself from forcibly removing him from her presence. “This is all your fault,” she seethed, balling her hands into fists at her sides.
“My fault?” Ryan countered incredulously. “I’m not the one she left this morning, without so much as a word.”
“Maybe not, but you’re the one who drove her away!” Renee burst out, unable to stop herself from advancing on him. “You’re the one who broke her heart, because you’re the one who wasn’t honest with her!” She came to an abrupt halt two steps away from him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, as if to prove to him her level of restraint. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out of my room. Right now,” she added in a low, angry tone.
Ryan scowled as he regarded her threatening stance. “Look, I didn’t come here to be insulted – not by you, at least,” he shot back.
“You’re vile,” Renee declared with a disgusted shake of her head. “I don’t know what my sister ever saw in you, but obviously, she’s come to her senses now. So why don’t you just leave her alone?”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Renee,” Ryan returned, planting his hands on his hips. “Last time I checked, this was between me and Stacy. It’s really none of your business.”
“Until my sister made it my business,” she snapped. “She was crying so hard by the time she made it back here last night that she could barely speak.”
Was it just her imagination, or did he suddenly seem to pale at that little revelation?
Renee decided to find out. “Why the hell do you think that she’d have anything to say to you now?” she pushed.
Ryan’s eyes fell closed. “She might not,” he replied quietly, his posture still just as full of steely determination as hers, “but I have something to say to her.”
Renee could only shake her head. “You’re such a callous, selfish jerk,” she declared with a disbelieving sigh. “Stacy’s better off without you.”
Ryan simply shrugged, relaxing his defense stance. “That’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” he murmured, the judgmental cut of his tone ringing crystal clear in her ears. “You haven’t been happy since the day we started dating.”
She glowered at him. “What I want,” she hissed menacingly, “is for you to get out of my room, before I do something that you’ll regret.”
Somehow, he found the audacity to smirk at her, which only served to further fuel her hostility. “You don’t scare me, Renee,” he declared smoothly, holding her gaze for a long, exacting moment before turning and flinging a dismissive wave over his shoulder. “Have a pleasant day.”
Renee was fast on his heels as he sauntered out of the room. Good riddance, she thought, watching his form disappear around the corner. I just hope that when you do finally speak with my sister, it’s because she’s found the sense to drop you for good!
Author:
luxken27Fandom: Kids Incorporated
Universe: Canon divergence (Season 5)
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: T
Warning: Language, innuendo
Word Count: 3,763
Summary: A deleted scene from Secrets. Renee deals with the immediate aftermath of Ryan and Stacy’s argument.
Author’s Note: For
keb_01, on the occasion of your birthday – your Secrets universe has finally come full circle! =)DISCLAIMER: The Kids Incorporated concept, storyline, and characters are © 1984 – 1993 Thomas Lynch/Gary Biller/MGM Television/20th Century Fox Home Entertainment/Disney Channel. Any resemblance to any person currently living or deceased is unintended (aka, I am writing about the characters, not the actors who portray them). No money is being made from the creation of this material. No copyright infringement is intended.
Renee sighed, shifting position in her chair as she gazed down at her story. She’d been working on it for the last few hours, but had barely put down three sentences that she deemed worthy of keeping. It was late; she’d long since changed into her pajamas and made herself a cup of hot tea, but her mind wasn’t foggy with exhaustion. No, her attention wandered off with every quick glance at the clock, prickles of trepidation scoring her spine as she thought about her sister.
She sighed again, pulling her glasses off and rubbing her hands over her face. I wonder what she’s doing right now, she mused silently, before stifling a cynical snort. Oh, who am I kidding? I wonder if she’s doing it right now.
It was hard not to worry, even just a little bit. Stacy was impetuous, to say the least – headstrong and stubborn; dreamy, yet reckless. She leapt from one impulsive decision to the next, whether it was what she was going to wear, how she was going to spend her money…or when she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend.
Renee sat back in her desk chair, picking up her tea and curling her fingers around the still-warm cup. She bit back a smile as she gazed around her room, taking in the damage wrought in the wake of Hurricane Stacy. She’d started to clean up the mess shortly after her sister’s departure, but gave up after an hour and barely making a dent. Stacy didn’t bring many things with her when she came to stay, but somehow, she’d managed to accumulate an entire wardrobe of clothes, which she’d torn through in a rampage that afternoon in her quest for the perfect outfit.
It was hard to ignore Stacy’s countenance as she sailed out of the room earlier that evening. She had an inner glow about her, full of confidence and excitement and anticipation. It was an expression that had become very familiar over the last few months, much to Renee’s displeasure. When Stacy had first begged to be allowed to visit her on campus, Renee had been naïve enough to believe it was because she wanted to strengthen their sisterly bond. They had been close as kids, but differing interests had drawn them apart as they grew older. Renee adored school; Stacy tolerated it, at best. Stacy could sit for hours, paging through 600-page fashion tomes; Renee had little use for trends or fads of any variety – she still quite happily wore cardigan sweaters and A-line skirts.
Renee hated seeing her sister drift away, and had jumped at the chance to find common ground again. It quickly became obvious, however, that it was an entirely different relationship Stacy truly wished to pursue.
Oh, she wasn’t vindictive or insulting about it – that wasn’t really in Stacy’s nature. She always showed up at Renee’s door with the best of intentions – to hang out, to gossip, to accompany Renee to the museums and the parks and the theaters in exchange for her sister’s company while she shopped – but somehow, she always managed to be swept away by her boyfriend. He was increasingly monopolizing what little time she had during her visits, which Renee didn’t appreciate one bit.
She also didn’t appreciate finding out that the only reason Stacy was even allowed to date Ryan in the first place was because of her presence on campus, as if she could keep an eye on them at all times. It was bad enough, feeling like she was losing her sister – no way was she going to be the third wheel on their lovey-dovey dates.
She sighed, taking a long sip of her tea as she turned back to her desk. Her eyes involuntarily flicked over to the clock, and her heart skipped a painful beat. It felt so strange, sitting there, as if their roles had been reversed: like she was the younger sister, waiting and wondering and dying to know the details – what it felt like to be in love, in lust, to want sex and its accompanying emotional bonds.
Renee had had her share of dates over the years, but the only steady relationship she’d ever been in was in junior high school, back when kissing seemed scandalous. She remembered that feeling well – of falling head over heels, of being off on another planet, of that person becoming the center of the universe, around which everything else revolved. Even at thirteen, it was heady and intense and romantic; she could only imagine what it felt like with a couple of years of hormones thrown into the mix. She also remembered what it felt like to have her heart broken, shattered into a million pieces by a boy who’d lost interest but couldn’t find a dignified way to tell her. Ever since that day, Renee had gone to great lengths to shield her heart from another bout of such sorrow; she’d made her peace with the fact that she didn’t have much of a love life.
Or so she thought.
Watching her sister fall in love had unsettled some of Renee’s notions about being single and happy. She’d noticed the way Ryan and Stacy looked at each other when they thought no one else was watching. She’d noticed the way they were always touching, the way it had started (with covertly holding hands when they thought no one was paying attention) and progressed (to her sitting on his lap whenever they were out with friends). She’d even caught them kissing once – not the shy, sweet kisses reminiscent of her own experience, but deeper, more intimate, and crackling with sexual tension.
It hadn’t been that long since she’d inadvertently witnessed said scene, and Renee had been dreading this day ever since. Stacy was exploring uncharted territory now, moving out of Renee’s realm of experience; there was no way to protect her feelings, or shield her from heartache, or give her advice about what would happen next. And Renee couldn’t help but feel a little jealous: that her baby sister had put herself out there, found a guy to love (and love her back), someone whose intentions she trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt, someone she felt comfortable sharing every part of herself with.
It didn’t feel fair – in fact, it made Renee feel like a failure of an older sister, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Somehow, she’d have to learn to live with the fact that the tables were turned, that her sister would gain such valuable knowledge and experience first, potentially with a multiyear head-start.
She tried to put her morose thoughts out of her mind, to turn back to the story she’d been struggling with for the last two weeks, but she couldn’t concentrate – not when the clock was ticking so loudly, marking each second that passed, making her fret and worry and wonder. How long would it take? When was Stacy planning to come back? How in the world was she going to be able to sleep without knowing if her sister was safe?
A sharp rap on the door startled Renee from her thoughts, jostling the cup she still held, causing her tea to splash onto her notebook. She stifled a yelp when she heard the second, more insistent knock, shooting up out of her seat and crossing the room quickly. As she drew closer to the door, the knocking turned into anxious pounding, accompanied by muffled sobs.
“Please, Renee,” came the pleading voice, “let me in!”
Renee’s heart dropped to the lower reaches of her stomach as she wrenched the door open, only to have her sister fall into her arms, crying so hard she could barely breathe.
“Stacy!” she exclaimed, unable to hide her surprise and concern. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
Her sister only sobbed harder, burying her face in Renee’s shoulder and circling her arms around her waist.
Renee turned slightly, managing to close the door, before hugging her sister close. She held her for a long moment, until it seemed the worst of Stacy’s tears had passed, before gently pulling away. She took her sister’s hands, guiding her over to her bed, and quickly handed her a box of tissues as they sank down side-by-side.
“C’mon, sis,” she cajoled softly, brushing Stacy’s hair from her shoulder as her sister wiped her nose. “Tell me what happened.”
Stacy’s face, already splotchy from crying, flushed again; she buried her head in her hands and drew her knees to her chest, looking every inch like an upset little girl.
It was all Renee could do to contain her own rising tide of anxiety. She’d seen Stacy upset before, but never anything like this. Sobs racked her body, sounding deep and painful and world-ending. Whatever had happened, it was major – and, Renee surmised grimly, probably had something to do with Ryan.
She draped her arm across Stacy’s shoulders, pulling the tissue box into her own lap, and slowly began to sway from side to side in a soothing rhythm. “Does this have something to do with your bastard of a boyfriend?” she mused aloud, trying to make her tone sound teasing and light. Normally, Stacy was very sensitive to the barbs Renee lobbed in Ryan’s direction, never one to take any guff about their relationship.
This time, however, she merely nodded, the movement of her head almost imperceptible.
Renee’s expression twisted into a scowl. “Insensitive jackass,” she muttered, not bothering to hide her vindictiveness this time. “What did he say?” she pressed, after a moment. “What did he do? Where do I need to punch him to make sure he’s hurting as much as you are?”
A tiny smile pulled at Stacy’s mouth. She sat up, taking another tissue and wiping her eyes.
“Do you think I’m kidding?” Renee asked incredulously, feeling uncertain herself of the seriousness of her threat. Nobody could hurt her baby sister this much and escape punishment, by her measure.
Stacy simply looked at her, giving a silent assessment of Renee’s offer. Her breathing began to calm; the redness receded from her face, even as tears continued to trickle from the corners of her eyes.
“Okay,” Renee relented, “I’m kidding! But please, Stace, tell me what’s going on. I hate to see you so upset.”
“I feel like such a fool,” her sister muttered. “How could I have been so stupid?!”
“I’m sure whatever happened wasn’t your fault, Stace,” Renee replied sharply, giving her sister’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Stacy simply shook her head. “So we went out, right?” she began. “And we were having a good time – until this girl shows up, and just – drapes herself all over him.” She exhaled sharply. “And the way she looked at him – the things she said to him – I just – ”
Renee laid her hand on her sister’s back as Stacy tried to compose herself.
“I just knew – that they’d had sex,” she finally choked out, stumbling over the words as if they were painful to pronounce. “So I asked him – I demanded to know – ” She sniffled, holding a shaking hand to her mouth as if she was going to be sick.
“Oh, Renee,” she burbled, “he’s had sex – with all these other girls – and I didn’t know.”
Renee felt her blood run cold. “You mean, since you two have been together?” she inquired archly, her protective instincts kicking into overdrive.
Stacy shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “Before.”
Renee slowly released her breath, feeling the impulse towards violence recede, and tried to grapple with the information Stacy had shared with her. She furrowed her brow. “I don’t understand,” she admitted. “Did he just tell you this? Out of the blue?”
Stacy shook her head again. “No,” she murmured in response. “I practically had to drag it out of him. But why did he hide it from me in the first place?” she wailed.
“I was ready, Renee,” she continued. “I was ready to share all of myself with him – only to realize that maybe I don’t really know him at all.”
It was hard for Renee to counter the surge of sympathy she felt when Stacy finally met her gaze, but something niggled at her. “You mean – you two didn’t discuss this at all before tonight?” she asked carefully. “You had no idea of his history?”
Stacy shook her head, looking downcast. “I just never – even imagined…”
Renee pursed her lips as she regarded her sister. He’s nineteen years old, she thought to herself. How could she even think –
And then it hit her, like a sack of bricks. She’d made it to nineteen with her virginity intact.
Suddenly, Renee felt incredibly guilty.
“I hate the thought of him – being with other girls,” Stacy ground out, oblivious to her sister’s sudden silence. “I hate the thought of him touching anybody else the way he’s touched me.” She sniffled, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks. “I hate the idea of him having all of this experience – and having so many others to compare me to.”
“Oh, Stacy,” Renee sighed, hugging her sister close. “I hate that this has hurt you so much.” She pulled away, brushing her sister’s hair from her brow and tucking it behind her ear. She contemplated how to phrase her next thought, her heart thudding heavily in her chest.
“You know I’m not Ryan’s biggest fan,” she started tentatively, “and as much as I hate to admit it, he was right about one thing.”
Stacy glanced at her, her eyes filmy with tears and full of questions.
“There’s no way he could’ve answered your questions to your satisfaction,” Renee explained gently. “Would you have preferred that he lie to you instead? I think he’s a jerk, yes, but the real jerk move here would’ve been telling you what you wanted to hear, just so that you’d have sex with him.”
Stacy pulled out of her sister’s grasp. “Who’s side are you on, Renee?” she asked caustically, slumping into the armchair next to the bed. “I thought you said it wasn’t my fault.”
“And it isn’t,” Renee insisted. “You deserved to know about his past, and he should’ve told you about it, before tonight.” She paused. “But you said it yourself – you had to ‘drag’ the information out of him. Would you rather have him lie to you, tell you that you were his first, too, only to find out the truth after you’d slept with him?”
Stacy looked away swiftly. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she proclaimed, balling the tissue she held into her fist.
“Okay,” Renee acquiesced, her tone neutral as she stood up. “It’s been a long night, and I think that we can agree that you’ve been through hell. Listen, why don’t you take the bed and get a good night’s sleep? I think everything will seem a little more manageable in the morning.”
“Forget it,” Stacy mumbled, standing up and shedding her carefully pieced-together outfit with listless indifference. “I’ll sleep on the floor like I always do.” Her face clouded up as she dug around for her pajamas, but after a few moments, her expression cleared without tears.
Renee watched in silence as Stacy changed and dragged out her sleeping bag, spreading it on the floor between her desk and the bed. She settled in without another word, promptly closing her eyes and turning away from her sister’s scrutiny. Renee studied her for a long moment before quietly stepping over her, retrieving her teacup from where she’d abandoned it on her desk. The tea that had splashed onto her notebook was dry now, along with the ink that had puddled at the bottom of the page, wiping away all of her hard work for the evening.
She turned with a sigh, quietly tiptoeing out of her room and down the hall to clean up. She’d made little headway with her story, but even less, it seemed, with her sister.
Renee awoke with a start, bolting upright when she realized that someone was knocking incessantly at her door. She forced her eyes open – and then immediately closed them against the piercing rays of the early morning sunshine.
“Ugh,” she creaked, rubbing her face. When the insistent knocking didn’t abate, she cast a sidelong glance at her alarm clock. “Who the hell is voluntarily up at this hour?” she mused aloud, stumbling out of bed and yawning as she moved towards the door.
When she opened it and realized who was standing on the other side, her mood instantly worsened. “What do you want?” she barked by way of greeting, finding absolutely no need for pleasantries.
Wry amusement washed over Ryan’s expression. “Well, good morning to you, too, Mary Sunshine!” he replied with a sarcastic smile, before sobering. “Is Stacy here?”
Renee narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on the doorknob. “Why do you want to know?”
Ryan arched a brow. “Because I want to talk to her,” he responded, a hint of defensiveness in his tone.
Renee shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she replied, taking a step back into the room and making a move to close the door.
“Well, I do,” Ryan returned, putting out one hand to prevent her from shutting it in his face. “That’s how adults settle their disputes, and this isn’t your problem, okay? You can’t keep me from seeing her.”
They stared at each other for a long moment, tension thick in the air.
Finally, Ryan looked away, pushing into the room and directing his attention beyond its gatekeeper. “Stace?” he called out. “Are you here?”
There was no response.
His eyes quickly swept over the room as he turned to face Renee once more. “Where did she go?” he inquired, sounding genuinely confused.
Renee huffed an irritated sigh. “Are you blind or something?” she muttered as she stalked over to her sister’s sleeping bag – only to lift it up and realize it was empty, save for Stacy’s pillows. Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe she just went to the bathroom? she thought to herself. She turned to her closet, where her sister always stowed her purse and overnight bag. If they were missing…
“Oh, no,” she murmured under her breath, her eyes pinned to the empty space just inside the closet door. “She didn’t…!”
“What?” Ryan asked, sharply reminding Renee of his presence in her room. “Where did she go?”
Her irritation flared. “She went home, you jackass!” she responded caustically. “She left without even telling me.” Without even waking me up, she amended silently, feeling her heart wrench in her chest. It was bad enough that Stacy had gone to bed angry – but now, apparently, she’d gone all the way back to Brooklyn, still nursing her upset.
Renee slowly eased the closet door back into its frame and turned to face her sister’s boyfriend. Suddenly, she felt nothing but righteous anger towards him, and it was all she could do to keep herself from forcibly removing him from her presence. “This is all your fault,” she seethed, balling her hands into fists at her sides.
“My fault?” Ryan countered incredulously. “I’m not the one she left this morning, without so much as a word.”
“Maybe not, but you’re the one who drove her away!” Renee burst out, unable to stop herself from advancing on him. “You’re the one who broke her heart, because you’re the one who wasn’t honest with her!” She came to an abrupt halt two steps away from him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, as if to prove to him her level of restraint. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out of my room. Right now,” she added in a low, angry tone.
Ryan scowled as he regarded her threatening stance. “Look, I didn’t come here to be insulted – not by you, at least,” he shot back.
“You’re vile,” Renee declared with a disgusted shake of her head. “I don’t know what my sister ever saw in you, but obviously, she’s come to her senses now. So why don’t you just leave her alone?”
“You can’t tell me what to do, Renee,” Ryan returned, planting his hands on his hips. “Last time I checked, this was between me and Stacy. It’s really none of your business.”
“Until my sister made it my business,” she snapped. “She was crying so hard by the time she made it back here last night that she could barely speak.”
Was it just her imagination, or did he suddenly seem to pale at that little revelation?
Renee decided to find out. “Why the hell do you think that she’d have anything to say to you now?” she pushed.
Ryan’s eyes fell closed. “She might not,” he replied quietly, his posture still just as full of steely determination as hers, “but I have something to say to her.”
Renee could only shake her head. “You’re such a callous, selfish jerk,” she declared with a disbelieving sigh. “Stacy’s better off without you.”
Ryan simply shrugged, relaxing his defense stance. “That’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” he murmured, the judgmental cut of his tone ringing crystal clear in her ears. “You haven’t been happy since the day we started dating.”
She glowered at him. “What I want,” she hissed menacingly, “is for you to get out of my room, before I do something that you’ll regret.”
Somehow, he found the audacity to smirk at her, which only served to further fuel her hostility. “You don’t scare me, Renee,” he declared smoothly, holding her gaze for a long, exacting moment before turning and flinging a dismissive wave over his shoulder. “Have a pleasant day.”
Renee was fast on his heels as he sauntered out of the room. Good riddance, she thought, watching his form disappear around the corner. I just hope that when you do finally speak with my sister, it’s because she’s found the sense to drop you for good!